i started this blog right before i was leaving for savannah.
i supposeat the time i felt the need to document my transition into college.
that was four years ago and i feel as though the person i was then has almost no relevance to the way i feel now.

ergo-
i'm deleting this account.
i feel it's time to start fresh.

my new blog is:
http://overcastmorning.blogspot.com/

brief updates on my life:

i decided to stop wearing eye makeup on saturday.
on sunday i finished the thrill kill animation.
monday i heard that i get to spend a couple weeks in southern france this summer.
tuesday was a nightmare being back in class after a week of being ill- especially the liquid emulsion debacle.
i found out yesterday that the cat i got for my fifth birthday died.

today is my intro into flash.
[crosses fingers tightly.]

my spirit feels like melting snow.
i woke up today wondering, "where is everybody??"

seems either they lost their way-- or i have.
either way, i don't think it makes a difference.
it still makes me feel the same way.

root beer flavoured popsicles.
a lemon for a head.
chewy bubblegum pink and legal pad yellow.

spoken words in reverse to fill my ears.
my metronome is skipping beats every now and then.
[my subconscious feels like its come down with a cold today.] what do you say when your psyche sneezes?

content- but hopelessly scared.
optimistic- but brokenhearted.

ready- but unconvinced.

"what time are we upon and where do i belong?"

this is badass:

http://istheday.blogspot.com/2007/09/today-is-day.html

____________________

the bulb on the projector just exploded.
wtf mate.

of course this would happen a half hour before crit.

bright lavender eyeshadow with ruby red lipstick just is not a good combination.
my shoulder won't stop aching--
oh eighties solo dance party shower debacles.

studio lighting______ [exciting.]
awkward photo class this evening.  it felt like being surrounded by paparazzi.  should have brought my shades.

"i woke in the morning with a temperature burning and heartstrings entangled in blue movie methadone."

my thoughts keep straying to hands and i have been feeling short of breath all day.  i've been waking up almost surprised at being alone the past couple mornings.  my dreams have gone from black&white and eerie, to very realistic moments that have been dug up from the past.  it's giving me a heartache.
i don't want to feel removed anymore.
i'm tired of the dull feeling of detachment--
i just want to talk.
i need to speak to someone.
__tell them everything.

but my thoughts feel like a pollock painting and i just cant seem to form a cogent explanation.

lids open wide. inhale.
a feeling like holding hands under water upon waking.
fades to a sensation like wet laundry within a few hours.
skin crawls-- goosebumps.

i would like another injection, please.

given my strange love for reality television (and longing to be on it), and the peculiar joy i get from celeb gossip--
i think that my horoscope for this week is hilarious:

http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/gemini.html

_______________
_____

homework and errands give me anxiety.
i still haven't decided on a word to animate-- i need to settle on one by tomorrow morning..
any ideas??

-"i love this flashlight.
it's a gun-
a future gun."

-"i think it's just a flashlight."

-"yah, you're right."

------------

lately my thoughts have been racing.
i find myself snapping back to reality several times a day, wondering what the hell i just missed--
having not even realized that i completely lost awareness of my surroundings in the first place.
just having lengthy internal monologues about nothing in particular.
it has definitely hindered my ability to sleep soundly-
and i think that the lack of sleep has only increased my space-out sessions.
oh, another vicious cycle.